Thursday, February 28, 2008

Last night a was talking to another mom of a toddler and we were both saying how full of energy they are and want to climb on everything. Here is what I wrote:

Monkeys or Toddlers?
For Madison and Bella

Its 7am lets start the day
Its gonna be calm, for this I pray

Morning is great she’s sweet as can be
I turn on the Wiggles and go make some tea

I hear a strange noise, and guess what I found
Her splishing & splashing & playing around

The one time I forget to close that darn door
My daughter discovered the toilet & more

I take a deep breath & go to sit down
What now, she’s on the top shelf clowning around

I bring her to safety & go to watch cable
Where is she now, she’s on top of the table

For the rest of the day this is how it will be
Cause my cute little toddlers a monkey you see!

Madison Nevaeh Mommy Loves You!
Bella your Mommy Loves You!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008



This is a poem a mom wrote for me and my daughter:

Friends across the miles, bring such laughter and smiles
I start my day off bad and I'm feeling kinda sad

Then an email from a friend, makes it better again
She has a little one to and sometimes we just don't know what to do

Our little ones are special, full of energy and joys
But sometimes they get wild and chew and throw their toys

It's nice to have a friend even though we've never met
That understand the ups and downs of raising a preemie, hard it can sometimes get

But all the happiness and all the joy that these little ones do bring
Is worth a few tantrums and worth an occasional screeching scream

So my friend enjoys these years while they are little only once, how do we measure
And one day they will be grown and memories are what we'll treasure

To Madison and Mindy
Love, Bella and Kim

The picture to the left was when we were transferred to 3w at UMC in pediatrics. I was finally able to stay with my baby. She was dressed for my baby shower that I had in the cafeteria in the hospital (they reserved me a room). A chosen few could come up to the room to see her. The picture to the right we are still in the NICU and the monkey is a beenie baby. The picture below we are also still in the NICU with a tiny bear we named Murphy. He watched over her for me. So many wires, it is amazing what BIG fighters these tiny babies are.

Here is a poem I wrote one night about my daughter. I write them in my journal to get things off my chest at the end of the day. Warning they are not Shakespeare and I am pretty stuck into rhyming but they are from the heart.


I need to write down just how I feel

A warm night in July it all became real

My precious little girl she just couldn’t wait

At 2 minutes of life they had to intubate

I knew at that moment I had to be strong

Cause the rough road ahead was gonna be long

Two full days had barely gone passed

My poor baby girl her right lung collapsed

So many machines, tubes, and wires held tight

Could my little 1 pound baby be able to fight?

You were so strong and feisty from the minute you came out

I should have known then to never have doubt

My little girl was so fragile and small

It broke mommy's heart to barely touch you at all

2 days shy of your 1 month birthday

My dream had come true I can hold you today

We did what they call Kangaroo care

I did not once, move out of that chair

One day I came in and the HiFi was gone

And much to my pleasure the CPAP was on

You were doing so well the doctors did see

In your very own isolate is where you should be

Nurse Kathy helped me give you your very first bath

Mommy also got news nasal cannula was your new path

You still needed time to eat and to grow

But then the news came we finally could go

The monitors and tubes we had to take home

Was a small price to pay to have you alone

We are finally home where we should be

So mommy can take care of her little sweet pea

Every movement, and step, and tantrums you make

Is something this mommy for granted won’t take

You are still one little strong minded thing

I welcome everything life has to bring

Nothing and no one can take this Happiness I had from the start

Because my Madison Nevaeh has the key to my Heart

My love for you is so strong my dear

My promise to you is I’ll always be here

So to my micro-preemie as perfect as can be

Your one little miracle no one could foresee

One thing I know, I’m sure that is true


I Love You Madison Nevaeh, Mommy’s gift from Heaven



Here is a poem I wrote last night because of a article I recently read. I had alot of frustration about it as did alot of other Preemie parents. I brought it to their attention on the Preemie Community. The journalist was to broad and had no facts to back it up. To sum it up she feels the state should not help to save these tiny babies and that they have nothing to contribute to society. She did refer to a crack mom in the article and the state took custody. It is very unfortunate, however I believe we should fix the problems we have in the country not take an innocent life. She has since responded to many of us in emails. Some were beyond rude she told one mom that she disgusts her, why I dont know I guess cause she chose life for her baby. To others like me she was polite. She tries to explain her logic but only makes it worse, since most of her responses are also posted for all to read. Bottom line money is not an issue nor should it be when it comes to newborns regardless of their weight. She implies that they will have horrible disabilities and this just is not true. Yes it can happen but you have no way of knowing that when they are born. As you can see my daughter is doing very well and they did not expect her to make it. She said they can't contribute to society. Well even the most disabled person can contribute even if it was to just raise awareness about their disability or touch one heart. To me that is a contribution. Every action has a reaction therefore she would have no way of knowing who would or would not be able to contribute. There is alot of good that comes out of bad. Just look at the hard start my daughter had and the horrible stay we had in the NICU. The end result to that bad situation was a healthy happy 19 month old little girl who can do anything she wants to in this world.

Micro-Preemies Are Human Too

Some might say to let you go

How could these people sink that low?

They say the cost is just too high

People like this just make me cry

I think if they just meet you dear

Their human side would shed a tear

This is when they just might see

How precious my baby is to me

My dear you did go through so much

It was worth it all to feel your touch

Yes my dear you were born small

You were just like a tiny doll

They need to watch just what they say

My Micro-Preemie could be president one day!

Love Madison Nevaeh’s Mommy

Love Madison Nevaeh’s Mommy

A Little of Madison's Story

My daughter was born at 26 weeks weighing in at 1 lb 13 ozs and 13 inchs long. There was no particular reason I went into preterm labor I just did. She tried to come at 25 weeks and I was in the hospital where the doctors held her off for a week. The labor was never stopped just slowed down so yes I felt contractions every day. The day my daughter came into this world I heard one small small cry. They quickly wheeled her over to me and wheeled her off just as fast. No, I did not get to hold her nor did I know what her condition was. When I was finally taken to the NICU my tiny tiny baby girl was laying under some saran wrap (to help keep in the moisture) with more wires and tubes running out of her than a grown adult should have, let alone such a tiny frail creature. Her skin was basically transparent. Her skin was very dark in color but this was due to the jaundice it just looked different on her. She was able to open her eyes but wouldn’t. She had not even developed nipples or any signs of where they should be. I thought that maybe she would never have any until a nurse explained that they would still grow. That just amazed me cause grow from what? These are some of the small things that should happen in the womb where the baby is safe. One of the bigger things would be their lungs and hers had needed more time. She was given a drug called surfactant (which the March of Dimes helped to develop) which played a huge roll in saving her life. Within 48 hours her right lung collapsed. Which in itself is bad enough but she was draining fluid which was really bad? They were not sure if she would make it because every time they took a chest tube out the pnemoniathorax would come back and another tube would have to go in. She also had what they call a PDA which is a hole in the heart. No, it does not stop there she also had a grade 2 IVH which is a hemorrhage on the brain. She would also become very swollen from water retention. So what I have told you so far is some of the medical side and not all of it. Here is some of my side. My baby girl was fighting for her life with more tubes and medicine running through her little fragile body than you could even imagine. So what would a mother want to do in this situation? She would want to cuddle and hold her baby and reassure her, but no that is not how it works. Holding her at this point could jeopardize her life. I couldn’t even softly stroke her because it over stimulates these tiny babies and also compromises their health. So all I could do for the first month of her life is come in every morning and sit by her bed and sing to her and talk to her. I did a whole lot of crying. Some days I would get very mad because I just wanted to be home with my baby. I would have to leave her every night because the hospital was not equipped for parents to sleep there. That was the worst feeling in the world. As a matter of fact her lung collapsed in the middle of the night and I was not there for her. This whole time I continued to pump as much milk as I could because a mother’s milk is one of the best things for your baby especially a sick one. Plus it made me feel like I was helping her. She had many ups and downs and the time in the NICU was exactly as they told me it would be, a rollercoaster of emotion. I got to hold her 2 days before her 1 month birthday. That was the best feeling in the hold world. We stayed at the hospital for 3 months and she was released on oxygen and an apnea monitor. I was very happy and very scared. We had many doctors appts. We had weekly appts to the eye doctor because in the NICU she developed a condition in her eyes called ROP. This is common for children on oxygen for a prolonged amount of time. It can be severe enough to cause blindness or require surgery. As a matter of fact Stevie Wonder was a preemie and it was ROP that caused his blindness. Madison still has many appts at 19 months of age but all things considered my daughter is doing great. She is one little fighter. The only real issue she has is chronic lung disease which can improve since lungs still develop for the first seven years. She is an active thriving normal toddler. We don’t know what the future has in store for us as far as her development but I think my little fighter can handle whatever life throws at her. She truly is on of life’s big, little Miracles.

A Little About Me

Hi my name is Mindy. I am a single mother of a beautiful 19 month old baby girl. She was born at only 26weeks and weighed in at 1 lb 13 ozs and was 13 inches long. She had a very rough start in life and the doctors were not sure she would make it. Well she truly is a miracle, not only did she make it but she is doing great.